Stress. I've always thrived on stress. Give me a deadline, I'll take it right down to the nail-biting wire. Schedule the Dips to come over for game night. I'll wait until the last minute to get my house cleaned. Invite friends over for dinner and I'll still be frantically running around the kitchen when they arrive instead of waiting graciously with cocktails in hand to join them in a witty repartee before I smoothly slip dinner out of the oven and gracefully slide it onto the beautifully decorated table. during the years I wrote my newspaper column, I quite often slid into a deadline like a skier spraying a blanket of snow over the person he shooshes to a stop in front of. Except my skies would spray a blanket of extra seconds before deadline. Too many times I wasn't quite so graceful and tripped and fell, rolling, tumbling, somersaulting right over the deadline and landing halfway down the hill, covered in my own negative moments.
But stress. Bring it on. I can take all you can give and more. Husband needing emergency quint by-pass surgery? Pow! Daughter has a brain tumor? Pow! Pow! This daughter with blow up in your face emotional issues? Pow! That daughter with an entirely different set of issues blowing up? Pow! Husband now with liver disease from diabetes complications. Pow! Now needs liver transplant! Pow! Pow! My chronically swollen foot diagnosed with some bone deteriorating disease...pow? Best case scenario - long recovery in a wheelchair...worst case - lose the leg...p...o...w?
Ok. take 10 seconds and panic and feel sorry for yourself. That's enough. Someone sent me an email once that talked about stress and I thought it was the best solution I'd ever heard. When you're getting overwhelmed, starting to lose your focus, starting to shrink into yourself, just handle stress like a dog - if you can't eat it or play with it...just pee on it and walk away.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Wasting Youth
You've heard the saying that youth is wasted on the young? I used to think that was one of the stupidest things I'd ever heard. Why couldn't young people handle youth? It's not like it's that hard to be young...at least I never thought so.
Aha! I think I just discovered the folly of my thoughts. Of course I never thought so. When do we ever take a step back and wonder if our thoughts are the smartest thoughts we could have? Not me. And now I realize that my youth was wasted on my young years...the years I didn't take care of myself . The years I coasted through without realizing or taking advantage of my potential. The years I didn't even know I HAD a potential.
Let me take a sidebar here. Discovering the folly of my thoughts reminded me that I wanted to change the name of my blog...again. The new Name - Sidetracked - just seems to fit better. I know I'm easily sidetracked. I know I sometimes flit from one subject to another...sometimes without warning. But, really, in my defense I ALWAYS come back to the original subject. Just hang on and keep up. Simple. What's not simple is I still can't get it to change names. The forces, fates, must like th original name. I thought briefly that perhaps God wants me to keep this name and that's why it's not working when I attempt the change. However, I can't imagine God being remotely caring about what the name of my blog is...as long as I don't say anything to embarrass Him and those who know me know the odds are pretty much against me there.
Back to youth. I would love to be this smart and 20 years old. What I could do with my life! for one thing, I'd get my art degree. I know I can still do that. I might not be the OLDEST person in class - real close, I know, but not the oldest - but I bet I'd be the most appreciative, the most enthusiastic, even though probably not the most talented.
I'd realize that this body wouldn't stay young forever and would quit abusing it way earlier. At least early enough to not have things falling apart on a seemingly daily basis. I'm not liking what the doctors are telling me these days. Until I accidently get a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I forget how old I am most of the time. Even when I've overdone it and am having a bit of trouble getting around that night. I'm really not this old!!! Except when I am...
Aha! I think I just discovered the folly of my thoughts. Of course I never thought so. When do we ever take a step back and wonder if our thoughts are the smartest thoughts we could have? Not me. And now I realize that my youth was wasted on my young years...the years I didn't take care of myself . The years I coasted through without realizing or taking advantage of my potential. The years I didn't even know I HAD a potential.
Let me take a sidebar here. Discovering the folly of my thoughts reminded me that I wanted to change the name of my blog...again. The new Name - Sidetracked - just seems to fit better. I know I'm easily sidetracked. I know I sometimes flit from one subject to another...sometimes without warning. But, really, in my defense I ALWAYS come back to the original subject. Just hang on and keep up. Simple. What's not simple is I still can't get it to change names. The forces, fates, must like th original name. I thought briefly that perhaps God wants me to keep this name and that's why it's not working when I attempt the change. However, I can't imagine God being remotely caring about what the name of my blog is...as long as I don't say anything to embarrass Him and those who know me know the odds are pretty much against me there.
Back to youth. I would love to be this smart and 20 years old. What I could do with my life! for one thing, I'd get my art degree. I know I can still do that. I might not be the OLDEST person in class - real close, I know, but not the oldest - but I bet I'd be the most appreciative, the most enthusiastic, even though probably not the most talented.
I'd realize that this body wouldn't stay young forever and would quit abusing it way earlier. At least early enough to not have things falling apart on a seemingly daily basis. I'm not liking what the doctors are telling me these days. Until I accidently get a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I forget how old I am most of the time. Even when I've overdone it and am having a bit of trouble getting around that night. I'm really not this old!!! Except when I am...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
In Your Dreams....
So...I was asleep last night, peacefully minding my own business, when all of a sudden I found myself in a dream not of my choosing and not of my liking. You know those dreams where you wake up and really believe it happened because it was so real? There I was. My doctor was telling me that unfortunately I had lost kidney function and would have to go on dialysis until I could receive a transplant.
I really have to quit watching those House marathons.
When I awoke, I jumped out of bed...ok so I slowly crawled out of bed...and limped to the bathroom where I decided to pee and prove those doctors wrong. Good idea except I couldn't pee. Nothing. Nada. Panic rose and I nearly started crying. After all, here I was with failed kidneys and needing a transplant and had absolutely no notice to get used to the idea. Besides, I don't have time to be laid up recovering from major surgery like that.
Just before full-blown panic set in, I woke up enough to look at the clock and, as the fog slowly lifted from my brain, realized that I had been up just 30 minutes before to use the bathroom. Well of course I couldn't pee!!! I just did!!! Hallelujah!!! I was so excited about not having to get a transplanted kidney that I couldn't go back to sleep. I wandered into the kitchen and ate a handful of grapes and drank a glass of water (thereby assuring that I would be heading to the bathroom in another 30 minutes) and climbed back into bed.
I'm not sure what dream captured my subconscious, but it must have been non-medical. My perfectly fine kidneys and I enjoyed the rest of the night. Thank You Lord.
I really have to quit watching those House marathons.
When I awoke, I jumped out of bed...ok so I slowly crawled out of bed...and limped to the bathroom where I decided to pee and prove those doctors wrong. Good idea except I couldn't pee. Nothing. Nada. Panic rose and I nearly started crying. After all, here I was with failed kidneys and needing a transplant and had absolutely no notice to get used to the idea. Besides, I don't have time to be laid up recovering from major surgery like that.
Just before full-blown panic set in, I woke up enough to look at the clock and, as the fog slowly lifted from my brain, realized that I had been up just 30 minutes before to use the bathroom. Well of course I couldn't pee!!! I just did!!! Hallelujah!!! I was so excited about not having to get a transplanted kidney that I couldn't go back to sleep. I wandered into the kitchen and ate a handful of grapes and drank a glass of water (thereby assuring that I would be heading to the bathroom in another 30 minutes) and climbed back into bed.
I'm not sure what dream captured my subconscious, but it must have been non-medical. My perfectly fine kidneys and I enjoyed the rest of the night. Thank You Lord.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Way Over My Head
Okay. Since my daughter set me up with this blog, I've only posted one time. That was the time she had everything set on the computer and all I had to do was type. Then I came home. And have not since been able to add to it. The main (and only) reason was that I couldn't find it again. Apparently I couldn't remember the title...and my password...and the website.
Hubby and I were out to dinner with some people one night and the conversation turned weird like it often does with people we know. Not sure why that is, but it's happened enough times that we can't blame it on the other people anymore. Anywhooo, the phrase 'death in progress' was blurted out (by whom I really can't remember so I'm taking credit for it) and I thought it was a perfect title for a book. Someday I really will write that book, but in the meantime, thought I would use it for this blog, but would have to explain that everything is actually about moving toward death of some sort...even if one is a Christian and has everlasting life, there still has to be a physical death. Youngest Daughter, however, pointed out I would have to continually explain the title or risk being thought of as dark and dreary with everything being about dying. Hence "life...in progress" since we are all about life as well as death. Is that deep or what!?!?!
This info is not just random. I shared it because I intended to change the name of "life...in progress" but it wouldn't change when I told it to (not unlike the way my children responded when told to not cuss, not smoke, not drink, not be disrespectful, not leave dirty clothesdishestowels laying around their rooms). No matter how many ways I tried, it just wouldn't change titles. I guess "Waiting for the Next Shoe" stays.
So...life is happening whether we want it to or not. Even the other day when I ran into Starbucks to get a berry chai tea infusion (hot) and never got one sip. Youngest Daughter was waiting, along with Newest Grandbaby, Noa, in the car. Giving a stab at being tidy, I grabbed our Starbucks cups from the that morning and tossed them in the trashcan near my car. A little later I went to drink my tea and discovered I had YD's cold vanilla latte. I had thrown out my brand new berry chai tea. You know, I mentally tasted that tea all afternoon long. I kinda wanted it when I ordered it, but REALLY wanted it when I discovered I had thrown it away.
Bottom line, technology...and life...is sometimes way over my head. I should feel insecure about that, but I'm either too deep or not deep enough to worry about it.
Hubby and I were out to dinner with some people one night and the conversation turned weird like it often does with people we know. Not sure why that is, but it's happened enough times that we can't blame it on the other people anymore. Anywhooo, the phrase 'death in progress' was blurted out (by whom I really can't remember so I'm taking credit for it) and I thought it was a perfect title for a book. Someday I really will write that book, but in the meantime, thought I would use it for this blog, but would have to explain that everything is actually about moving toward death of some sort...even if one is a Christian and has everlasting life, there still has to be a physical death. Youngest Daughter, however, pointed out I would have to continually explain the title or risk being thought of as dark and dreary with everything being about dying. Hence "life...in progress" since we are all about life as well as death. Is that deep or what!?!?!
This info is not just random. I shared it because I intended to change the name of "life...in progress" but it wouldn't change when I told it to (not unlike the way my children responded when told to not cuss, not smoke, not drink, not be disrespectful, not leave dirty clothesdishestowels laying around their rooms). No matter how many ways I tried, it just wouldn't change titles. I guess "Waiting for the Next Shoe" stays.
So...life is happening whether we want it to or not. Even the other day when I ran into Starbucks to get a berry chai tea infusion (hot) and never got one sip. Youngest Daughter was waiting, along with Newest Grandbaby, Noa, in the car. Giving a stab at being tidy, I grabbed our Starbucks cups from the that morning and tossed them in the trashcan near my car. A little later I went to drink my tea and discovered I had YD's cold vanilla latte. I had thrown out my brand new berry chai tea. You know, I mentally tasted that tea all afternoon long. I kinda wanted it when I ordered it, but REALLY wanted it when I discovered I had thrown it away.
Bottom line, technology...and life...is sometimes way over my head. I should feel insecure about that, but I'm either too deep or not deep enough to worry about it.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Catching up from the beginning
Hi there. Perhaps you're wondering why I'm here taking up space, taking up time (yours and mine). There IS a very good explanation. OK, there's an explanation. I've had people from my past ask why I've never taken my old newspaper columns and put them together in a book. AND apparently there have been several times I've seen, heard or done something and exclaimed, "Man, if I still wrote my column...!" So my daughter set me up this blog spot and here I am. Blogging.
If I still wrote my column #1 - I've always considered people who "blogged" to be overindulgent, ego-driven, more-time-on-my-hands-than-I-know-what-to-do-with people. BUT my oldest daughter blogs and she is neither overindulgent nor ego-driven. AND she has no time on her hands with 2-1/2 kids under the age of two. Actually I barely have extra time since she has 2-1/2 kids under the age of 2!
If I still wrote my column #2 - Can you believe that Super Bowl?!?!?!? Granted, I was rooting for Arizona. After all, just how many super bowls do you have to win in one lifetime? Still, the Steelers absolutely did not deserve to win with the behavior they exhibited. the personal fouls for unnecessary roughness. Come on...you're supposed to be grown men, not middle school boys trying to prove something. And that one guy - you know who I'm talking about - who held the Arizona guy down while he continued to punch him!
If I still wrote my column #3 - What kindof man (and I use the term loosely) thinks more of himself and his wants, including driving around in a vehicle he can't afford, pretending to own his own business that doesn't make enough money to either pay his bills OR provide for his children and making sure he has the time and funds for activities HE wants? That's all on that subject cause I can really get started here and you don't want that.
If I still had my column #4 - let me introduce you to my favorite people in the world: There's my 13-year-old grandson who has been the bright spot in the world since the moment he entered it. Even today when he messes with me by acting like a wannabe thug, he's one who can make me smile. There's his 6-yr old sister who has had my heart from her first breath. She also has my admiration because she has overcome some pretty yucky stuff and still keeps her gentle, loving disposition. Well...most of the time. Don't mess with her on the soccer field or basketball court! Her one-year-old sister just doesn't know a bad day...except when she throws a fit, of course. She had a bad start and probably has quite a bit more to go, yet her smile is huge and innocent and definitely loving. Moving along to my 2-yr old granddaughter who can bring the sun out with her smile (She's very discriminating who she gives one to, so you know you've been favored when you get one. Then there's her one-year-old sister who is correctly labeled as a one-girl demolition derby with the Energizer Bunny in her back pocket. Whatever she does, she does at full steam. Then, there's the new baby. One month old and suffers with colic and reflux and, right now, one of the worse cases of diaper rash I've seen, but the rash is going away and her personality is popping out despite her health issues. It's fantastic to watch her watch me like she's trying to figure out who this creature is!
That's it for now. I've enjoyed this...hope you have, too, and will come back. I am.
If I still wrote my column #1 - I've always considered people who "blogged" to be overindulgent, ego-driven, more-time-on-my-hands-than-I-know-what-to-do-with people. BUT my oldest daughter blogs and she is neither overindulgent nor ego-driven. AND she has no time on her hands with 2-1/2 kids under the age of two. Actually I barely have extra time since she has 2-1/2 kids under the age of 2!
If I still wrote my column #2 - Can you believe that Super Bowl?!?!?!? Granted, I was rooting for Arizona. After all, just how many super bowls do you have to win in one lifetime? Still, the Steelers absolutely did not deserve to win with the behavior they exhibited. the personal fouls for unnecessary roughness. Come on...you're supposed to be grown men, not middle school boys trying to prove something. And that one guy - you know who I'm talking about - who held the Arizona guy down while he continued to punch him!
If I still wrote my column #3 - What kindof man (and I use the term loosely) thinks more of himself and his wants, including driving around in a vehicle he can't afford, pretending to own his own business that doesn't make enough money to either pay his bills OR provide for his children and making sure he has the time and funds for activities HE wants? That's all on that subject cause I can really get started here and you don't want that.
If I still had my column #4 - let me introduce you to my favorite people in the world: There's my 13-year-old grandson who has been the bright spot in the world since the moment he entered it. Even today when he messes with me by acting like a wannabe thug, he's one who can make me smile. There's his 6-yr old sister who has had my heart from her first breath. She also has my admiration because she has overcome some pretty yucky stuff and still keeps her gentle, loving disposition. Well...most of the time. Don't mess with her on the soccer field or basketball court! Her one-year-old sister just doesn't know a bad day...except when she throws a fit, of course. She had a bad start and probably has quite a bit more to go, yet her smile is huge and innocent and definitely loving. Moving along to my 2-yr old granddaughter who can bring the sun out with her smile (She's very discriminating who she gives one to, so you know you've been favored when you get one. Then there's her one-year-old sister who is correctly labeled as a one-girl demolition derby with the Energizer Bunny in her back pocket. Whatever she does, she does at full steam. Then, there's the new baby. One month old and suffers with colic and reflux and, right now, one of the worse cases of diaper rash I've seen, but the rash is going away and her personality is popping out despite her health issues. It's fantastic to watch her watch me like she's trying to figure out who this creature is!
That's it for now. I've enjoyed this...hope you have, too, and will come back. I am.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)